Understanding Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love: Building Stronger Relationships

Love is one of the most complex and cherished human emotions. Psychologist Robert J. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love offers a framework to understand love in its various forms (Sternberg, 1986). According to this theory, love can be understood through three core components: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. The balance of these elements shapes the kind of relationship two people share.

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In this blog, we’ll explore each component in detail, examine the different types of love combinations, and discuss how understanding this theory can help strengthen relationships. We’ll also see how Rocket Health works to help couples and individuals create healthier connections in their interpersonal relationships with therapists having a string base in theories as the Love Triangle Theory.

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The Three Components of Love

1. Intimacy
   Intimacy refers to feelings of closeness, connectedness, and emotional bonding. It involves sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and building trust (Sternberg, 1986). 
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2. Passion
   Passion encompasses physical attraction, sexual desire, and the drive that leads to romance. It’s the emotional and physical excitement that often marks the early stages of love (Sternberg, 1997). 
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3. Commitment
   Commitment is the decision to maintain a relationship over time. It includes the conscious choice to stay together through ups and downs (Sternberg, 1986).

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Types of Love in Sternberg’s Model

Depending on the presence or absence of each component, Sternberg (1986) identified different forms of love:

• Liking: Intimacy only
• Infatuation: Passion only
• Empty Love: Commitment only
• Romantic Love: Intimacy + Passion
• Companionate Love: Intimacy + Commitment
• Fatuous Love: Passion + Commitment
• Consummate Love: Intimacy + Passion + Commitment (considered the most complete form)

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Applying the Theory in the Indian Context

In India, relationships often intersect with cultural, familial, and societal expectations (Gupta, 2013). Unlike in many Western settings, where romantic relationships often start with dating and emotional intimacy, Indian relationships especially in arranged marriage contexts may begin with commitment first, followed by the gradual development of intimacy and passion.

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Arranged marriages, still prevalent in both urban and rural areas, often prioritise compatibility based on family, religion, caste, and socio-economic status over immediate romantic attraction. In such scenarios, commitment is established early, while intimacy and passion grow over time through shared experiences and mutual understanding (Netting, 2010).

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Arranged marriages, joint family systems, and evolving norms around dating can influence the balance of intimacy, passion, and commitment. For example, some relationships may begin with high commitment due to family arrangements and gradually build intimacy and passion over time. 

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Urban and semi-urban India is seeing a shift, with more young adults choosing love marriages, live-in relationships, and dating apps to find partners. These relationships often begin with passion or intimacy first, and commitment becomes a later decision. However, balancing these components can be challenging due to societal pressure, generational differences, and expectations around marriage timelines.

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Traditional gender roles in Indian society may also affect how the three components of love are expressed. For example, women may feel societal pressure to prioritise commitment and family harmony over passion, while men may face expectations to be primary providers, influencing their emotional availability.

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Living in joint families can shape intimacy and passion in unique ways. While strong family networks provide emotional security, they can sometimes limit private time and autonomy, which are essential for nurturing certain components of Sternberg’s triangle.

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Understanding these cultural layers allows couples to see that imbalances in intimacy, passion, or commitment are not necessarily personal failings, but rather they can be the result of structural, cultural, and familial influences. Therapy can provide a neutral space to unpack these influences and develop strategies to strengthen all three components.

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How Can Rocket Health Help?

In India, discussing intimacy, passion, or emotional needs can sometimes feel uncomfortable due to cultural norms and so on. Therapy offers a safe, judgment-free space to address these topics openly. It can help in :- 

• Build intimacy through better communication and trust-building.
• Reignite passion and connection by exploring what’s blocking attraction and creating space for novelty.
• Strengthen commitment with conflict-resolution tools and shared goal-setting.
• Navigate cultural and familial pressures impacting relationships

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At Rocket Health, therapists tailor sessions to your relationship’s individualistic and shared needs. Whether arranged marriage, modern dating, or a blend of both; helping couples create a balanced, fulfilling bond.

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Through online therapy, you can access support no matter where you are, ensuring privacy, comfort, and flexibility.

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Conclusion

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love reminds us that love with its layers, isn’t static, but it’s something we create and nurture over time. By understanding and balancing intimacy, passion, and commitment, we can foster healthier and more satisfying relationships.

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If you’re looking to strengthen your relationship or explore your own patterns of love, Rocket Health India offers a safe space to start your journey.

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References

Gupta, R. (2013). Arranged marriages in India: A historical and cultural perspective. International Journal of Sociology and Anthropology, 5(2), 35–46. https://doi.org/10.5897/IJSA12.049

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Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93(2), 119–135. https://pzacad.pitzer.edu/~dmoore/psych199/1986_sternberg_trianglelove.pdf

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Sternberg, R. J. (1997). Construct validation of a triangular love scale. European Journal of Social Psychology, 27(3), 313–335. 

https://doi.org/10.1002/(SICI)1099-0992(199705)27:3%3C313::AID-EJSP824%3E3.0.CO;2-4 

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Netting, N. S. (2010). Marital ideoscapes in 21st-century India: Creative combinations of love and responsibility. Journal of Family Issues, 31(6), 707–726. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X09357555